What is the meaning of a "good" parent?

So as I sit here with my feelings on my shoulders and my heart broken, I wonder, what is the defination of a good parent?

I love "A" with all of my heart and would do anything for him. I always second guess my everyday strategies on our journey to him being a great man someday. Am I doing the right things for him? He has a well balanced diet, all the toys he could dream of, a warm place to sleep, baths that he loves, paci's at his beckon call, and all the love from me and "L" that can be possibly given. But is it enough?

Incase you don't know, "A" was adopted from South Korea 18 months ago and in the adoption world, I believe it is the social workers job to beat into you that you WILL have attachment issues. I question myself about this everyday, am I using the right tools to my advantage to insure a healthy bonding experience with my little man??? We have had our moments and no one really understands what you are going through unless they have been there in your shoes, themselves. All of my friends have "bio" kids and they think that there is nothing for me to worry about but they don't see things from my eyes. They see the "happy-go-lucky" kid that is happy to be in a new place with lots of new things to see and play with. Maybe they dont see it or maybe I am over sensitive, but who is right? Maybe its me, but I just want the best for him and I wish I could see into the future that he will be fine and can form healthy relationships on his own.

Discipline...Do or Dont?

They always say to never discipline an adopted child, never let him cry it out, and always be there for him. To what extent? My child needs to know his boundaries, and I am the one that needs to teach him this. If I am not disciplining him, I am doing him an injustice. He will not know his boundaries later in life and will most likely disrespect authority figures. He needs to know respect and I am the one to teach him that and it comes from discipline. How can I be a good parent if I dont teach right from wrong? And at what age do you start? I believe that discipline is a 24 hour a day job, I cant slack up or he will be confused. Boundaries are boundaries no matter where we are or what we are doing. Right? Consistency is the key. Why dont we just go by our gut? Why do we listen to other people to what they think is the right age for you to start disciplining? They arent the parent...you are. People think differently and that is what makes the world go 'round.

Dont let them cry it out? We teach him everything else in life, why not teach him how to sleep? It is probably the single most important thing in life. No sleep = No functions. I have never understood this. While I hated to let "A" cry it out, he can now sleep all night on his own because not only did he learn that he can do it alone, he learned how to self-soothe. How is this bad? I cant possibly go off to college with the kid and continue to rock him to sleep can I? Well, I could, but I really think that would mess up any chances of bringing a girl home to meet Mommy and Daddy!

Always be there for him...This I can do! I would walk across the earth, bare-footed for him, even on hot, black asphalt...ya know?

I can do them all, but why do I let someone make me feel bad about what I choose to do for my child. He is safe, he is healthy, he is loved! I am so easily hurt by the thought of someone even thinking that I am doing bad by him but why should it matter? As I said before, he IS safe, he IS healthy, and he IS loved!! SO SCREW YOU!!!!!