2007 ~ What a year!!

As the year 2007 is coming to a close tonight, I wanted to reflect over what a great year it has been.

I feel that 2007 just blew right by in the blink of an eye. Maybe that is because I am a Mom now and I really have no time to myself to sit and really think about it.

First things first...We started another adoption back in February. (February 14th to be exact.) It was our Valentines Day gift to each other. Since the application fee was $275.00, we decided that we wouldn't exchange other gifts. What a wonderful gift we were already giving each other by expanding our family.

In June our homestudy went to Korea with the hopes of being matched with a little sister for Aidan. We were told it would be a long 5-6 month wait.

In August, we visited South Carolina for a family vacation only to come home to a letter in the mail stating that we would not be matched with a girl and needed to be open to a boy. Not that boys aren't great, but we had our hearts set on a girl this time. I called our agency and talked to them in great length about our desire to parent a girl. They said we could stay in the program and be gender specific but that it would take 1 year before we would be matched. We were prepared to wait, just don't kick us out.

Also in August, I found out that I am going to be an aunt. My nephew, Jacob, is due in March.

In October we were matched with our little girl. She was born on February 10th 2007 at 4 lbs and is just as cute as can be! We decided to name her Avery. At 8 months she weighed 13 lbs. She should be home by February.

Also in October "A" turned 2. He is such a big boy and is such a blessing to have in our life. He is into trains and cars and all that boy stuff! He is a little obsessive compulsive as in he doesn't like to be dirty and things have to be in the right place. I am in no way like this so we often wonder where he gets it from.

In November we got an update on our sweet Avery. She is growing and is still so, so cute. She was 15 lbs and trying to crawl.

We had a great Christmas, we spent lots of quality with our family and there is nothing better than that!

So as I sit here tonight, I hope that you all have had a wonderful year and have had many blessings as well. I look forward to keeping you informed on little Avery and her homecoming. I promise to do better at keeping my blog up to date.

Happy New Year!!!! Come on 2008!!

What is the meaning of a "good" parent?

So as I sit here with my feelings on my shoulders and my heart broken, I wonder, what is the defination of a good parent?

I love "A" with all of my heart and would do anything for him. I always second guess my everyday strategies on our journey to him being a great man someday. Am I doing the right things for him? He has a well balanced diet, all the toys he could dream of, a warm place to sleep, baths that he loves, paci's at his beckon call, and all the love from me and "L" that can be possibly given. But is it enough?

Incase you don't know, "A" was adopted from South Korea 18 months ago and in the adoption world, I believe it is the social workers job to beat into you that you WILL have attachment issues. I question myself about this everyday, am I using the right tools to my advantage to insure a healthy bonding experience with my little man??? We have had our moments and no one really understands what you are going through unless they have been there in your shoes, themselves. All of my friends have "bio" kids and they think that there is nothing for me to worry about but they don't see things from my eyes. They see the "happy-go-lucky" kid that is happy to be in a new place with lots of new things to see and play with. Maybe they dont see it or maybe I am over sensitive, but who is right? Maybe its me, but I just want the best for him and I wish I could see into the future that he will be fine and can form healthy relationships on his own.

Discipline...Do or Dont?

They always say to never discipline an adopted child, never let him cry it out, and always be there for him. To what extent? My child needs to know his boundaries, and I am the one that needs to teach him this. If I am not disciplining him, I am doing him an injustice. He will not know his boundaries later in life and will most likely disrespect authority figures. He needs to know respect and I am the one to teach him that and it comes from discipline. How can I be a good parent if I dont teach right from wrong? And at what age do you start? I believe that discipline is a 24 hour a day job, I cant slack up or he will be confused. Boundaries are boundaries no matter where we are or what we are doing. Right? Consistency is the key. Why dont we just go by our gut? Why do we listen to other people to what they think is the right age for you to start disciplining? They arent the parent...you are. People think differently and that is what makes the world go 'round.

Dont let them cry it out? We teach him everything else in life, why not teach him how to sleep? It is probably the single most important thing in life. No sleep = No functions. I have never understood this. While I hated to let "A" cry it out, he can now sleep all night on his own because not only did he learn that he can do it alone, he learned how to self-soothe. How is this bad? I cant possibly go off to college with the kid and continue to rock him to sleep can I? Well, I could, but I really think that would mess up any chances of bringing a girl home to meet Mommy and Daddy!

Always be there for him...This I can do! I would walk across the earth, bare-footed for him, even on hot, black asphalt...ya know?

I can do them all, but why do I let someone make me feel bad about what I choose to do for my child. He is safe, he is healthy, he is loved! I am so easily hurt by the thought of someone even thinking that I am doing bad by him but why should it matter? As I said before, he IS safe, he IS healthy, and he IS loved!! SO SCREW YOU!!!!!

The Story of Dog-Dog

It is 9:20 and I am so freakin' mad!

A. has this lovey (Dog-Dog) that he absoutely with the bottom of his heart loves! He is a light blue dog with dark blue circles, not spots, but circles on his stomach and dark blue ears. He is about 7-8 inches tall which makes him perfect for my little man's hands. We have 4 of them, of course, A. doesnt know this...LOL! We cant go anywhere without Dog-Dog. He is seriously part of the family!

Just a little extra info, we rotate Dog-Dog so that A. only knows he has one. One is always being washed, one is usually hanging out on a shelf in the laundry room ready to play his part, and one is being snuggled. Oh yeah, there is one still wrapped up in the package he came in because I have this fear that all of their little heads or arms are going to fall off and we are going to go into melt-down mode. Don't make fun, I'm just being on the safe side.

Anyway, like I said, it is 9:20 and a Dog-Dog is missing...I am about ready to put out a missing ad on him...I am devistated. We are down to 2 active Dog-Dog's with one still wrapped up. I know, that still leaves me with 3, that's plenty right? Then why am I so panicked?

I have looked all over this house and there is no sign of him. I feel like I have completely lost my mind. I lost my MP3 player a couple of months ago and didnt search this hard, and it is still missing! When did my priorities change? I guess I can tell that I am a Mommy now that a silly little stuffed animal ranks higher than my MP3 player that had the best selection of music on it.

So as I sit here and type because I cant sleep because he is missing, I am making a list in my head of what part of the house to tear apart first.

Please pray for my sanity!!!